Reflection

So here I am.

It’s early 2019.

Today, I deleted the Instagram app off my phone. I needed the headspace. I needed to stop wasting time. I needed to find self-satisfaction.

I’m not saying I’m my best self yet, but I’ve definitely am making positive steps towards it.

This powerlifting meet has given me new goals, a sense of purpose, a reason as to why I’m disciplining myself in terms of diet, hangouts, and cardio. Before I was lazy, and I really didn’t want to better myself. Now i’m lifting 5-7 days a week, and i’ve been going to spin classes twice/week. My diet could be cleaner, a little bit more disciplined, but hey, I’m still below my calorie limit!

This week, I’ve put in more of an effort towards prayer. I dont BS as much about waking up for fajr. I’ve been praying all my salah on time, and I’ve been making more sincere du’a. I feel more spiritual and honestly, it probably helps me with my anxiety the most.

So yeah, about that. I felt as if meditation wasn’t working as well. I hate how Fati gives me anxiety. What she thinks of me, who she’s into, who she’s talking to, what she thinks of me, why she doesnt want to talk to me, why she isn’t texting me.

I’m slowly trying to improve myself. Diet, hobbies, which now include more reading, more guitar, less games. It’s time for me to be an adult now, and i’m in my goddamn prime. I better start acting like it, or else its going to be prime and i’m just going to be an old man with a long, long list of regrets.

Inshallah this will be my time to flourish.

Peace and love